Be picky about being picky

In America, we have a lot of choices when it comes to the things we buy. Think about it. When is the last time you bought something and there were no options – only one item for purchase. If you go to a restaurant you will usually receive a multi-page menu describing all the various options. The Cheese Cake Factory menu is thick as a book. It can be overwhelming. Visit an American grocery store and you see how many different kinds of Ketchup there is. I like hot sauce. It is amazing the number of options you have when it comes to buying hot sauce. Let’s talk about Starbucks – the options seem unlimited. It is a pet peeve of mine to stand in line behind someone who takes forever to order their drink. It is not like you are making a life changing decision, but you would think so based on how difficult it is for some patrons to make a selection. Even after you order the barista may ask you more questions about what you want – whip or no whip? Really.

I am a big fan of not overthinking things when possible. With that in mind, I recommend that you not waste your mental capacity on trying to figure out what to buy. Look at your options, determine what you like, calculate what you can afford, and then buy it. Don’t spend too much of your brain power trying to buy just the right thing. You can drive yourself nuts if you do. If you get it wrong, it probably will not be a big deal. There are three exceptions to this approach that I want to share with you so that you can be picky about being picky.

1. Quality vs. quantity – you will buy many items in large quantities. Don’t waste too much time picking these items. For example, I run a fair amount and like to drink Gatorade afterwards. Gatorade comes in many types and flavors. I like G2 because it is low calorie, and am not that picky about the flavor. When shopping for Gatorade I buy whatever G2 flavor is on sale. If none of it is on sale, then I buy one of my favorite flavors. Problem solved. Wristwatches are another matter. It is unlikely that you are going to buy multiple watches at the same time. In fact, you will probably only buy a few over your lifetime. In this case, do some research so that you make an informed purchase. I don’t have a lot of money, so really expensive watches are out of the question. I own two watches – one informal, and one formal. I wear a Timex weekender watch that I really like. It costs less than $100. You can change the straps on the watch to match the clothes you are wearing. For work, I wear an Invictus watch. It is stylish and only cost a few hundred dollars. Nothing fancy for me.

Timex weekender wrist watch
Timex weekender wrist watch

2. Premium purchases – you will buy a few things that cost a lot of money. Cars, houses, and college tuition are top of list for me. When spending a lot of money like hundreds of thousands for a house, you should spend a lot of time looking, researching, analyzing, and comparing before making a decision. Work with a good real estate agent who can help find you the right house, at the right price, in the right neighborhood. Some shows on HGTV make it seem like you can find a house quickly. I prefer to take my time and spend a lot of time thinking before buying. Bottom line – you should love the house you buy. If you don’t love it, then hold off until you find one you do. When it comes to cars I never buy the first day I visit a dealer. I don’t want to make an impulse buy. It is an easy mistake to make when buying a car. I prefer to visit multiple dealers, do a lot of research, and spend some time thinking about the purchase. Three car purchases I made were good – the Accord, Tacoma, and my Jeep. The Lexus I bought was a mistake. I should never have spent that much money on a car. Choosing a college is similar – do lots of research to include visiting each school before making a selection. The good news is that researching cars and colleges is much easier these days with all of the online tools. These did not exist back when I was your age.

Jeep wrangler
Jeep wrangler

3. Money makers – you should save and invest some of your money with each paycheck so that you can retire one day. When it comes to investments there are an overwhelming number of options. Be picky about who you allow to invest your money. Many financial institutions will promise high returns and low risk. They use this marketing lingo to justify charging you high fees for managing your money. Don’t fall for it. Every dollar you spend on management fees is one less dollar that gets invested. It is really hard for money managers to “beat the market”, and they know it. I have done a fair amount of research on this topic and decided to keep things simple. I invest in index mutual funds with low management fees. Several reputable companies offer these type nowadays. I would never attempt to invest my own money in individual stocks. It takes time and energy, and expertise that I don’t have.

In most cases I don’t think there is much value in being picky about what you buy. There is a time and place to be picky. I recommend the three listed here. In case you are wondering why we have all of these choices, the video below explains why:

How to spend the summer

We are in the middle of summer – the weather is hot, the days are long, and you do not have school. You have more free time than usual during the summer, so the question becomes what should you do with all this free time. When I was your age I did many things during the summer to include sports, travel, work, and spending time with friends. I recommend that you do something similar. Don’t waste the months sleeping in late every morning, watching endless hours of Netflix, and texting back and forth with your friends. Instead I recommend working hard, having fun, and doing some physical training.

Working hard is an important habit to gain during your younger years. I am a big fan of getting a summer job. The work itself may not be exciting, but that is not really the point. The experience is what matters, and earning a little extra money is not a bad thing either. I worked several jobs during high school and college to include delivering pizza, helping out at the local movie theater, and cleaning up at a sheet metal plant. Each job was different, and taught me new things. I developed the habit of showing up on time at work, learned the importance of interacting with customers, and how to get stuff done without having to be constantly monitored. This summer Gavin is working and learning many of these same lessons, and earning some money for college. Riley – you will start working next summer.

The summer should not be all work and no fun. You have extra time, so enjoy some of it. When I was your age I had the opportunity to go to Europe multiple times to see and experience a different part of the world. I met a lot of new people, experienced new things, and really expanded my perspective of the world. Luckily for both of you I still enjoy traveling and already take you to Europe during the summer. I plan to continue taking you there each summer. Both of you have also been able to spend a lot of time in the Outer Banks at the beach. We have great memories from the many years we went to Duck. I encourage you to considering doing more of this as you get older, and the summer is one of the best time to go. Other things I enjoyed doing at your age during the summer was going to the movies, seeing the bands I liked in concert, visiting the beach, and hanging out with friends. I know that times have changed a lot, so I am not saying you should do the same things. Rather, make sure you enjoy your time off. Some of my best memories from my youth are from the summer time.

Summer months offer you an excellent opportunity to spend some time getting into shape. One excuse I use a lot when it comes to physical training is that I don’t have the time for it. That is not true for either of you this summer. You have plenty of time, so make it happen. The weather is perfect for getting out there for a swim, a bike ride, or a run. Going to the gym is another great option. I was on the local swim team at your age, so we would spend most weekends at swim meets which took a lot of time. As you know, I never pushed you to be a swimmer since neither one of you were very interested in the sport. But, that doesn’t mean that you should lay around the house doing nothing. Nowadays, I do some of my hardest training during the summer months. I recommend you do the same.

Trust me when I say that it is not likely that you will have more free time on your hands than you do right now. At my age, you get vacation days that you have to use wisely. With that in mind, I highly recommend you spend a little time thinking about how to spend your summer, and make it happen. Fall will be here before you know it. When someone asks what you did over the summer, avoid having to answer, “nothing”. A better answer would be I earned some money working, went to Europe, and got in much better shape.

Summer nights and my radio
That’s all we need baby don’t you know
We celebrate when the the gang’s all here
Hot summer nights that’s my time of the year

– Van Halen

Enjoy life – especially in the moment

Learn to enjoy the great moments in your life.  Both of you have accomplished great achievements recently. I hope you savored the moment. It is easy to become consumed and distracted by what is going on around you.  I have found it difficult, sometimes, to step back, and enjoy the experience of the moment I am in.  Take the time to celebrate your victories, tell others you love them, and simply enjoy all the fantastic things that you will experience in your lifetime.  It does not have to be fancy, but rather a simple recognition of success, or a special event. Otherwise, time will slip through your fingers if you are not careful. For example, I enjoy going to Tony’s Pizzeria after a soccer game with my fellow teammates to celebrate all the good things that happened during the game. We raise a glass and share a meal to commemorate the game.

We are the champions, my friends,
And we’ll keep on fighting ’til the end.
No time for losers,
‘Cause we are the champions of the world

 – Queen

Let Music Inspire You

Music can have a very positive impact on your life and inspire you.  Although I do not possess much (if any) musical talent, I have always enjoyed listening to music.  As a young man I listened to music that reflected the disillusionment and anger that I felt.  Now that I am older, and more mature, I listen to a much more diverse array of music. I enjoy hard rock, punk, 80’s alternative, country, jazz, and modern Christian music. Christian music makes me think of Jesus and helps me worship God. Jazz is smooth and helps me relax. Country music helps me recognize that life can be rather difficult at times. Alternative rock and punk reminds me of my youth. It is the music I listed to in my formative years. Hard rock is just plain fun to listen to some days. Each type of music inspires me in different ways. Explore music and find out what you like, and listen to it for inspiration.

So I’m headed down the open road unknown
And we find what we’re made of
Through the open door
Is it fear you’re afraid of?
What are you waiting for?
Love alone is worth the fight

–  – Switchfoot

Start the day with something you enjoy

One thing that I do each day is to start with something I enjoy, because I may be about to experience the worst day of my life. The reality is that I don’t know what is in store for me. I enjoy a good cup of coffee in the morning, especially on a cold day.  I also enjoy croissants (France’s greatest contribution to the world). It may sound goofy, but I buy coffee and croissants many mornings at Starbucks on my way to work. I am not saying that you should start drinking Starbucks coffee like me.  Instead, I am saying figure out something that you enjoy (going for a run, reading the paper, listening to a favorite song, reading the Bible, watching the news, whatever) and make it one of the first things you do.  Enjoy that moment and then get on with the rest of your day.

I’m never gonna look back
Woah, never gonna give it up
No, please don’t wake me now
Oo-o-o-o-oo
This is gonna be the best day of my li-ife

– By the American Authors