Hit the reset button – New York blunder

As you know, this past weekend Gavin and I visited New York City. It was a great trip, and every thing was going really well until we arrived at the airport for our trip back home. Once at the airport I noticed that our flight was not listed on the arrival board which seemed strange. I should have stopped there, but we went through security and on to the departure gate. At this point, I could tell something was wrong. Our flight was not listed at the gate, so I checked my ticket. Crap – our flight did not depart at 9 AM…but 9 PM. I made a huge blunder, a really big error. We were at the airport twelve hours early with nothing to do, and no other flights available.

What to do next? Gavin and I pondered the situation and we decided to hit the reset button on the day. We trekked back to NYC, found a place to store our luggage, and spent another day exploring NYC. The weather was not great, but we had a good time being tourists. We went to the top of the rock, hung out in Times Square, visited the wax museum, explored Ripley’s, and an array of other attractions. The day was topped off with New York cheesecake at a diner. Not a bad day considering we had not planned any of it beforehand.

As this experience shows – sometimes you have to hit the reset button on a day. The bottom line is that I messed up big time. But, we could recover from it. Rather than spending the day beating myself up over my mistake (Gavin did a nice job reminding me about it), I decided to get on with it, and make the most of what was left of the day. The ability to “hit the reset button” is an important skill in life. Many times, you will make stupid mistakes, or have things not go your way. It is easy to get really upset about the situation, and even pout about it. But, a more mature response, is to get over it, and then get on with it. You will be amazed at what will happen when you hit the reset button – you will meet new people, see new places, and gain new experiences.

Keep this lesson in mind the next time you travel, and things take a turn for the worse. I have traveled a fair bit, and trust me, these kind of things happen. Flights are delayed, and your plans will need to change. Hopefully, I will avoid making this kind of big blunder again. But, if it does, I know what I will do. Hit the reset button, and start all over again.

Standing in the middle of nowhere,
Wondering how to begin.
Lost between tomorrow and yesterday,
Between now and then.

And now we’re back where we started,
Here we go round again.
Day after day I get up and I say
I better do it again
– Do It Again by the Kinks

Thank your mom – today is her special day

Today is a special day for women. Today is Mother’s Day. Make sure you take time to thank your mom for all she has done for you over the years. I know I will. For a long time I was not very close to my mom. Some things happened in my youth that strained our relationship, and I did not see a compelling reason to do anything about it. Neglecting my relationship with my mom was a big mistake – one that I regret to this day. The reason that I regret it is that my mom is awesome. When I think about why my mom is great, three words come to mind.

1. German – my mom was born and raised in Dresden Germany. She met my Dad in Berlin and came to America with him in the early 1960s. Even though mom spent the rest of her life here, she is still very German. You hear it in her voice, and will notice it in her mannerisms. Mom speaks her mind when talking with others. This trait is unsettling for some. She expects excellence. Why do something if you don’t plan to be the best. And she is not physically affectionate. Germans are just not big at hugging. What I have learned by watching my German mom is to be myself, and not worry about what others think about me. I encourage you to do the same. Be who you are, not who others think you should be. I know a lot of people who drive themselves crazy trying to please others all the time.

2. Tough – my mom has dealt with a lot in her life. Dresden was bombed to the ground during the war, and conquered by the Russians. Her family was wealthy before the war, but not so much after Dresden become part of the communist DDR. Mom went to Berlin to find work, and met Dad there. The Berlin wall went up while they were there. As a result she would not see her family, or her home, for many, many years. She raised two young boys while Dad served in the Army, deploying to Vietnam for three combat tours. We moved many times before finally settling in the DC area. She dealt with all of these challenges, and many more. I have never heard my mom say, I cannot handle this. Her toughness set a great example for me to follow as I deal with the challenges of life.

3. Generous – my mom has given me more than I can ever repay. Both your Uncle Perry and I played multiple sports growing up. Mom drove all over God’s green earth making sure we made it to swim practice, swim meets, and soccer games every weekend. Dad did a lot of coaching, Mom did a ton of driving. Also, she has never hesitated to help you boys. I have not told this story before, but I will now. When your mom and I divorced it cause a lot of financial challenges to me. I was paying a large mortgage, rent for a townhouse, and for a divorce lawyer all at the same time. I was spending more than I earned, and on the road to financial ruin. I mentioned this challenge to my mom, and bemoaned the fact that I had to stop saving money to pay for your college. Without saying anything, she quietly went upstairs, wrote a check, and then handed it to me. It was enough money to pay for your first year of college. I told mom that I had no idea when I could pay her back. She did not want the money back. She wanted her grandsons to succeed in this world, and that meant going to college. Her generosity inspires me to do the same. I am in a much better place financially these days, and will do my best to help both of you, and your families.

Take a moment to reflect today about your mom, and what she means to you. Make sure you express your thanks. I bet she will appreciate it.

I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me.
– Antonio Villaraigosa

Be a learner – avoid repeated mistakes

It is impossible to always make good decisions. Everyone makes mistakes – some big, some small. What is important is that you learn from your mistakes, and avoid repeating them. One of the reasons I enjoy traveling so much is that you get to see the world, and you learn a lot about life. Unfortunately some of it is due to mistakes I make, bad decision, or short sighted judgments.

For example, it was a mistake not to use the free wi-fi that was available at the resort on our trip to Cancun last year. As a result, we wracked up hundreds of dollars in extra roaming charges – a costly mistake. Another example – it was a bad decision to return a rental car in Germany without the gas tank full. The customer service person was not thrilled, and it cost me a lot of grief and money. Lastly, I was short sighted when I received a parking ticket in Rothenburg and “forgot” to pay it. The rental car company added a hefty fee for dealing with the ticket when they billed my credit card.

These mistakes were learning experiences. I will make sure these mistakes do not happen again. Be a learner – avoid making the same mistakes over an over. Pay particular attention to your mistakes that result in loss, waste, or destruction. You want to avoid mistakes that create broken relationships with family and friends, results in losing large amounts of money, or wasting your time. Instead learn lessons from your mistakes and apply those in future situations. Smart people learn – fools don’t…and none of want to be a fool.

“Wisdom comes from life experience; life experience is the result of repeatedly taking corrective action while courageously learning from mistakes.” ― Ken Poirot