You cannot change someone else. Do not waste your time trying. Some people feel like they have the power to transform others and spend a lot of time and energy trying to change them through various means. Usually, it involves some form of telling them what to do. Most people do not like being told what to do, much less making a change. I have witnessed this situation several times. Predictably it ends in frustration for everyone. The bottom line is that in order for someone to change they must decide – no one else can make that decision for them.
You cannot actually change who you are either
I read a well-researched book that talks about the myth some believe that as you grow, and get older, that your personality changes. This is not true. In fact, the opposite is true. As you grow, you become more of who you really are. You are hard-wired with certain talents and traits. This fact can be frightening, especially for those who do like who they are or dream about having some talent they simply do not possess. Hard to be a rock star if you cannot sing or play guitar.
Don’t lose hope
You cannot change who you are. On the other hand, you can improve any situation in life, especially your own. If you want to get better – start by looking for ways you can improve your part of it first. One of the hardest things to admit in this world is that “I am the problem”, or “I am wrong”. I know from personal experience that it is difficult to admit when you are wrong and that you need to make a change in your life. If you have done something wrong, or what you are doing is not working at all – fix it, and then watch the situation improve from there. Don’t wait for others to change and solve the problem for you.
A change would do you good
Song by Sheryl Crow
I think a change would do you good
I am Doug Keating and this is my letter to sons.