I punched the numbers into the calculator. Awesome. The total showed that I was going to make more money that year than I ever had in my life. It was summertime 2018. My annual bonus was bigger than normal. I was pleased with the situation and relieved that money would not be tight. Work was going well. I was finally reaping the rewards after many years of toil. I felt proud, and a little scared at the same time. My ego was growing.
Success can go to your head
Like many people, I work hard. I am competent at my job. I like my profession and enjoy a reasonable amount of success. I used to think that my success resulted mainly from my own efforts. The harder I worked the more success I experienced. Over time my ego became a problem. The reality is that my success depends mainly on the hard work and decisions of others. Rewards can go to your head if you are not careful.
Why I wrote this billboard
A few years ago I read the book Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. One of the best I read in the past decade. In it, Ryan describes various ways that your ego can be a problem. He provides pertinent examples throughout. I reread the book in 2018 as a reminder to myself that my ego is the enemy. I wrote this billboard as a reminder that I needed to proceed with caution. My inner citadel is more important than monetary rewards. Ego is the enemy.
Ego is the enemy is not light reading
The book is broken into three sections – aspire, success, and failure. Each section contains multiple chapters full of important lessons. Too many to share here. Instead, I am going to highlight three points Ryan makes in the first section of the book to whet your appetite. Hopefully, you will be inspired to read all of it. It is definitely worth the investment.
One might say that the ability to evaluate one’s own ability is the most important skill of all. Without it, improvement is impossible. And certainly, ego makes it difficult every step of the way.
Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy
Be your own best critic
It is difficult to see your own flaws. We look in the mirror and see what we want to see. The older you get the harder it is to recognize your own flaws. You may miss the things that are keeping you from being your best. I know this point is true because I fall into this trap all the time. Many of us do. Try to avoid this mistake. Ego is the enemy.
It’s a temptation that exists for everyone – for talk and hype to replace action.
Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy
We believe our own stories
Years ago I signed up for a marathon. I told my friends all about it. I finished my inaugural race with a respectable time but had not trained properly. My second marathon was going to be better. I would train differently and finish faster. I explained my new approach to any of my friends who were willing to listen. In my head, it was better because that is what I told myself, and others. I started to believe my own story.
Less talking more running
The reality is that I did not train differently. I skipped many of the long runs. Guess what happened – I finished with almost exactly the same time as before. I blamed the weather which was a lame excuse. I should have done less talking and more running. Classic mistake. Nowadays, I am better at avoiding this pitfall. I try to talk less and do more. You should do the same. Ego is the enemy.
A true student is like a sponge. Absorbing what goes on around him, filtering it, latching on to what he can hold. A student is self-critical and self-motivated always trying to improve his understanding so that he can move on to the next topic, the next challenge
Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy
Never stop learning
It is easy at my age to think that I know it all. The older I get the more I realize how little I know. The funny thing is that when I was your age I thought that I knew all I needed to know. Don’t be like I was. Rather always be a student and keep gaining more wisdom. You will be amazed at how quickly you can acquire knowledge nowadays. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you know it all. Never stop learning. Ego is the enemy.
How I incorporated this billboard to my life
Rereading Ego is the Enemy made me rethink parts of my life. Was I being honest with myself? Was I talking too much and not doing enough? Was I learning new things that would help me grow? The answer to all three questions was no. I decided to address all three issues over the coming years. The last thing I want is for my ego to become my enemy.
What about you?
How are you dealing with your ego? Are you friends with it, or is it your enemy? If you have not read this book, I recommend that you do. I am planning to read it again this year. Another measure to hold myself accountable, and keep my ego in check.
You are not quite as good as you think you are, but you are better than others realize
Dad