I stood in front of my father crying. I was upset. It was not a pretty scene. I lost a swimming race that I should have won. I was embarrassed. My poor dad had suffered through a long swimming meet to watch me bomb a race badly. In fact, I did not even place in the top three. I finished dead ass last. I was ten years old. I was a hot mess and needed help.
My dad did not get emotional
My father did not get upset. Instead, my dad wrapped his arms around me and whispered into my ear, “some days you get the bear, other days the bear gets you”. It was the first time I heard this saying. I did not know at all what it meant but was somehow comforted and stopped crying. I thought he might yell at me for swimming so slow. He never did. Never.
Why I wrote this billboard
My dad sat through hundreds of swim meets and soccer games during my youth. Both my brother and I played these sports for over a decade. In fact, Opa coached Perry and my soccer teams for years. He was a great coach. We won a lot of games. My dad had many sayings that he used to teach his teams about life. This billboard saying is one that I remember. It helped me many times over the years.
As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
Psalm 103:13
Some days you win
I was a decent competitive swimmer. Nothing special. That means I won more races than I lost. In contrast, your Uncle Perry won most of his races. He was a great swimmer – much better than me. I remember one summer I swam well the entire summer. I practiced hard and my efforts were paying off. I won almost every single race. I got the bear a lot that summer which tons of fun. It is likely that you will win many days. Many people do.
Other days you lose
The reality that we all face is that sometimes we lose. I remember another summer when I experienced a painful loss. I was undefeated going into my final race. All I had to do was win the last one which was my strongest event. I lost that race by a hair. The bear got me that day and it hurt. My brother was undefeated that year which made my loss sting a little bit more.
Make sure you can handle losing
Everyone loses at some point. No one wins all the time. It is okay to get mad when you lose. That is natural. I do not know anyone who likes losing. Just make sure you don’t let a single loss ruin the rest of your day. I know some people who are absolutely miserable to be around for a long time after they lose. They sulk and let the loss seep into their soul which is never a good thing. Get over it and get moving again.
We are the champions, my friends
We are the Champions by rock band Queen
And we’ll keep on fighting ’til the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
‘Cause we are the champions of the world
You have to deal with both most days
The older I get the more I realize that most days you have to deal with both winning and losing. In a typical day, some things go well for me and other parts do not. It is rare that I have an absolutely great day or a horribly terrible day. It is usually a mixture of good, bad, and occasionally ugly. Some days are like riding a roller coaster – many ups and downs.
How I incorporated this billboard into my life
My dad’s advice helped me get through many tests and trials in my life. I remember facing failure during US Army Ranger School. Students must pass certain skill tests to include land navigation in order to progress. I was usually decent at navigating through the woods. For whatever reason, I performed poorly the day we tested. I ended up lost more than once and failed horribly. The bear ate me for lunch that day.
Facing the bear the next day
We were able to take a re-test the next day. If I failed that would be it for me. I would be recycled which would be hugely embarrassing. My father is a highly decorated US Army Ranger to include multiple combat tours in Vietnam. I could not imagine the thought of facing him if I failed. I did not panic. Instead, I remembered my father’s advice and decided that I was going to get the bear that day. I did. Passed the land navigation test with ease and graduated from Ranger School a few months later.
Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude to fight on to the Ranger objective and complete the mission though I be the lone survivor.
Six stanza of the US Army Ranger Creed
What about you?
Do you know how to handle both winning and losing? Are you able to pick yourself up after a loss? Or does losing affect you more than it should? I hope not. If it does, remember Opa’s saying. It will help. I also hope you learn to be resilient. Life is tough and you need to know how to rally yourself when necessary. It will help you win when it matters most, and in the long run.
Some days you get the bear, other days the bear gets you.
Richard Keating, my dad